Thursday, August 13, 2009

*pollo loco.

I know that the Woodside kitchen has produced nothing but salads of late, but you must never underestimate the culinary wizardry required to ... cut stuff up. And stir it together.

James Beard, here I come.

But it is flaming hot in Alabama in the summer, and in my defense this little number (Giada's Italian Chicken Salad in Lettuce Cups) fulfilled my requirements to feed carnivores, leave the kitchen cool, and keep the diabetic out of ketoacidosis. It also meant I didn't have to turn on the stove, a fortuitous notion considering that the last time I attempted to cook something I left the burner on for eight hours, sending J into hysterics and narrowly avoiding burning the house down.


PS Because I was at the Food Network site, I feel it necessary to point out that this? Food Network Webmasters? Is gross looking. I wanted to navigate away immediately, if not for my commitment to the needs of my adoring readers.

PPS Your almonds almost gave me a seizure.

I halved the recipe, which serves 12, and was able to satisfy three eaters, comfort some late-night munchies, and make lunch for the pregnant sister.

I began with the wrinkled carcass of poultry, ostensibly lemon-pepper in flavor. Either it was overcooked, or it recoiled from the humidity. (the reason this photo looks like it was taken in a sauna. Because ... it was.)

chicken on a spit.

Outside? 88% moisture. Inside?

white meat.

0%. That is some dry business there, folks. But we'll just throw a bunch of shit at it, and all will be well!

Specifically parsley (the Publix only had the curly cousin of flat-leaf),


red onions (sliced "paper-thin," courtesy of mad knife skills),

red ribbons.

bell peppers both red and yellow (which were supposed to be roasted bell peppers but were not, courtesy of bad reading skills),

hell's bells.

slivered almonds,


and some rather handsome capers.


A simple vinaigrette—red wine vinegar, lemon juice, honey, salt, pepper, and olive oil—goes on top.

red dress.

The recipe says to use "enough to moisten," so I used ... all of it. You saw that dried-up ole chicken.

chicken salad.

The colors are lovely and summery, and it's a great way to serve people something you know they'll like—chicken salad—without the heaviness of mayonnaise. (Don't be sad, mayonnaise. You know we'll always be together.)

Oh, and also: mojito.

neato mojito.

That has nothing to do with anything. It's just frozen rum.



at: 5:13 PM said...

Ahhh...see why you are my favorite?!

at: 11:24 AM said...

Hey! Who wrote that? Dad!

K. says:
at: 1:03 PM said...

learn to sign in, people!

except dad. because i am his favorite.



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I am a work in progress. I perpetually need a hair cut. I'm totally devoted to my remarkable nieces and nephew. I am an elementary home cook and a magazine worker bee. (Please criticize my syntax and spelling in the comments.) I think my dog is hilarious. I like chicken and spicy things. I have difficulty being a grown-up. Left to my own devices, I will eat enormous amounts of cheese snacks of all kinds.