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Wednesday, September 24, 2008

*pantry raid.

Sometimes it feels like you're at work, and you're all, "I'm in demand! People need me! I could be in the circus I'm such a good juggler! I multitask like a pro! Holy CRAP where did all this water come from and how am I supposed to keep my head above it?"

Being a drone is difficult.

Then sometimes you get home and you think, "My stars this is quiet. What's happening to my life? Did my belief system just implode? Why are all the things that are 'good for me' so goddamn unsatisfying? Did I just tear up because a 'Jon & Kate + 8' rerun is on?"

Being melodramatic and hormonal is also difficult.

So you strap on your big girl shoes and you take your dog for a walk. And you potentially offend L Sis' neighbor who asks if her daughter can pet your dog by screaming, "OH NO, MA'AM" because you are horrified by her insinuation that said dog might poop in her yard. Which she did not insinuate, you just happen to be 84% deaf.

Then you go raid your larder for bribes to make the marrieds hang out with you. I am not above being a third, fifth, or any other odd-number wheel. I threw all the too-much-salt-having, meat-containing items into a bag, then added lots of hooch for good measure. Also novelty snack items and "chikn" nuggets, because after all—I have to eat, too.



Some people have their Prozac. I find the better part of a bag of fake chips and half a box of fake meat is at least a temporary mood elevator. Plus, it's hard to stay too left of perspective when you're getting the stink-eye.

8 comments:

Anonymous
at: 3:50 PM said...

Stink eye! Hahahahaha Awww poor ugly Talem....

lj

Anonymous
at: 3:53 PM said...

And you forgot to put a title over my SHOES on the table!!

Anonymous
at: 7:24 PM said...

I've teared up over a lot less than J&K+8. Hormones are brutal.

K. says:
at: 8:23 PM said...

anonymous: i've teared up over a lot more, too.

Anonymous
at: 8:32 PM said...

I'm sorry to hear that. :(

K. says:
at: 11:06 PM said...

thank you. i'm sorry, too.

the other k.
at: 8:11 AM said...

mmm, shoes and shadowy bean dip. great way to recover from a day spent in a pressure cooker . . . I opted for full-fat-version rocky road ice cream.

K. says:
at: 9:30 AM said...

the other k: you NEED full-fat RR. you are running a marathon. in fact, if you continue on this course, i will be forced to tie you down and give you a bacon IV drip. don't say i didn't warn you.

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I am a work in progress. I perpetually need a hair cut. I'm totally devoted to my remarkable nieces and nephew. I am an elementary home cook and a magazine worker bee. (Please criticize my syntax and spelling in the comments.) I think my dog is hilarious. I like chicken and spicy things. I have difficulty being a grown-up. Left to my own devices, I will eat enormous amounts of cheese snacks of all kinds.

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