Wednesday, June 24, 2009

*lawn in order.

I meant to post this two months ago and didn't, because I'm lazy/easily distracted by shiny things and salty snacks.

But it demands attention. Mostly for my mother, who took one giant step toward beatification as a result.

Seriously, this woman gestated me for just shy of 100 years. She should not now be subjected to panicked phone calls the likes of "Help! I'm 29 years old and I'm about to be swallowed by my lawn! Send cocktails and manual labor!"

In my defense, it was kind of pretty.

into the wild.

I mean, you know, probably choking out any potential grass and harboring large insects and poo piles, but pretty.

Alas, I did not place anything there for scale. Trust me when I tell you that this was some incredibly tall weed-strewn mess. J would stand in the middle of the yard, gazing at me and forlornly contemplating the slog back to the house versus jumping the fence and moving in with a more responsible family.

But thanks to my kindly lawnmower elf, the Mother Who Never Tires, and hours of backbreaking work, we turned this

paw path.

into this.


It obliterated J's carefully carved path through the brush, but he was so overjoyed to be able to see his own feet again that I don't think he minded.

The privet hedge returned to its full upright and locked position once we disentangled it from the parasitic wisteria.

welcome to the jungle.

If you're not familiar with this Southern shrub, allow me to orient you. It's the big bushy thing between the useless half clothesline and the rotten stump. That's what you call landscaping, people.

lawn in order.

Because I'm relatively impotent at yardwork, I was tasked with brush removal.

great wall.

Ah, the Woodside. Where the grass is patchy, the chain link is prominent, and a day's worth of toiling creates the impression that the house was abandoned for a year. Home sweet home.


What's Next? says:
at: 3:11 PM said...

Wow ... that is impressive.



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I am a work in progress. I perpetually need a hair cut. I'm totally devoted to my remarkable nieces and nephew. I am an elementary home cook and a magazine worker bee. (Please criticize my syntax and spelling in the comments.) I think my dog is hilarious. I like chicken and spicy things. I have difficulty being a grown-up. Left to my own devices, I will eat enormous amounts of cheese snacks of all kinds.