*crazy fun.

Birmingham: The diva has landed.

When I was just a wee pre-adolescent, I received my first compact disc: Celine's "The Colour of My Love" (For TwinFin it was Boyz II Men, for LSis, "Meatloaf Bat Out of Hell: Part II.)

I think I had "terminally dweeby" written on my face when I came out of the womb.

Nevertheless, I cut my teeth on ballads and forehead-smacking white rap courtesy of the Queen of Adult Contemporary. I'm taking the mother figure to see her, tomorrow night, for crazy-people watching and maybe—if she's very lucky—an airbrushed clothing item.

I'm going to get my Lovable Whackjob fill for the year.

"Speaking honestly: Rene loves me the most when I'm wearing nothing."



"My husband and me retired for two years, so that there will be less talking about us and my weight."



"I always put on makeup at home, because I think I'm looking boring without it. "



"I've never been cool—and I don't care."



"I looked in the audience. There were no strangers. Everybody was singing and cheering and hugging. That was a beautiful picture to look at."

It may well be the nerdiest night of my life.

I can't wait.