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Wednesday, October 22, 2008

*catching up on correspondence.

Dear Brooke,



Please send me that coat. Also your watch. And your ageless skin. And some of that I-have-a-secret happiness would be nice. Oh, and maybe some of those green grapes behind you. Those look good, too. Your friend, K.




Dear Madonna,



I'm terribly sorry to hear about your recent hardship, but with people trying to paint you as a cult-member/health-obsessed/control-freak nutjob, this sort of look is more Tom Cruise on Oprah than it is Jilted and Sympathetic Jennifer Aniston. Take care of yourself, K.




Dear Rob and Robbin,



This video is more than a little creepy, not only because Rob's arm looks like it's none too pleased to be resting uncomfortably on Robbin's shoulder. I feel I should also let you know that the word is pronounced "par-tick-you-lar-lee," and notify you that when you say you want your children to "make up their own minds," we all know that's code for wanting them to think precisely as you do. (Which is what, exactly? That "traditional marriage" is sexless and the homosexual "lifestyle and behavior" is not? Because that might make me reconsider my I-like-boys stance.) I did laugh a little when you said that children will now be learning about homos at every level. Because when Robbin said they would be gayin' up math, well ... that was just funny. Cheers, K.

PS People tell you you are wrong and bigoted because you are.





Sarah Palin:



I am writing to inform you that, though you have spent more on clothes in one month than I spent on my (as yet not foreclosed on!) house, I very much like your boots. The patent leather ones you wore on SNL were a smidge kitten-with-a-whip, but these garner my approval. I still think you're kind of an imbecilic hatemonger. Smooches! K.




Dear Elizabeth,



No, sweetie. Just no. It doesn't fit, and you look ridiculous, and your best girlfriends should all be fired. Hugs, K.





Dear J,



I need to know why you insist on being as far away from me as possible on the sofa, but you will cuddle for hours with a tiny dragon. I'm starting to take it personally. Thanks, K.




(Photos by Mario Magnani/Bauer-Griffin, Splash, AP, Dave M. Benett/Getty, and me, respectively.)

5 comments:

Juarez Family says:
at: 2:21 PM said...

Nope, sorry, I think Palin needs to wear pumps with her suits. Just my opinion. If she wants to wear knee high boots on her dates out with "First Dude" that's fine but on the campaign trail it needs to be smart looking pumps.

Yes, I saw that pic of Elizabeth. Ridiculous. Doesn't even look attractive.

Jeannie says:
at: 2:58 PM said...

I agree on the boots. (and the boobs) but I Love me some Jakers with his dragon!

Anonymous
at: 4:28 PM said...

UM

K

UM

YOU TOLD ME TO TELL YOU WHEN YOU STARTED TALKING TO YOUR DOG....

SO THIS IS YOUR FIRST WARNING.



FROM:

CONCERNED DRAGON LOVER

jg1981 says:
at: 10:03 PM said...

Rob and Robin make me laugh. I love it when intolerant people compalin about other people being intolerant of their intolerance.

kate says:
at: 7:47 PM said...

I don't like the word intolerance anyway.

I hate to be that picky, but come on. Think about it. Maybe it's just semantics but this isn't something that should have to be "tolerated."

Calling those people intolerate seems to mean that they should just be willing to tolerate any of the many differences among all of us.

I can't tolerate bigotry. Let's just leave it at that.

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