Thursday, July 31, 2008



[hold for applause]

I know, I know. I missed me, too. I got a little caught up with various and sundries, but when the Non-Reader implores me to return and someone (I know who you are, the extraneous k gives you away) calls me a dude, the situation is dire.

Down to business!

Agenda Item 1: Face lift

You like? Leave your comments and suggestions for me. I would run a poll, but then you wouldn't be able to wax poetical. Any features you adore? Abhor? I have added an RSS feed so that you can get up! to! the! minute! notice should I publish. Or up to the month, at least. And I made the font larger because holy mother. PS: I managed to tweak this html even though I know nothing about html and the code was written entirely in Spanish. I'm pooped.

Agenda Item 2: Subway Shenanigans

I find the Subway line fascinating. And because I haven't been cooking lately, I've been spending a lot of time in it. (Question: If you don't get chips, you don't have to feel guilty about eating the entire $5 footlong, right? Great, just checking.) I'm irrationally spellbound by what people order on their sandwiches. It's all so prettily contained behind the sneeze guard, so it's not the disgusting free-for-all buffets are. Or cocktail parties. There is something seriously awful about people around free food. They turn into animals.

But the lovely Sandwich Artists keep the melee at bay. They ALWAYS put too much of anything on there (I like black olives as much as the next person, but I don't need a bushel, thanks). I just adore seeing the weird shit people will put on their sandwiches. If you're making a sandwich at home, would you put salt and pepper on it? Probably not. But what percentage of Subway patrons ask for it? In my experience, about 86%. Somehow it becomes a luxury! And if you're getting the Italian BMT, you already have THREE MEATS. Asking for double meat is greedy AND cardiovascularly dangerous. I once saw someone order a sandwich for her child with lettuce and yellow mustard. That was it! It was nuts! It's like crazies on parade. Feels like home.

But it left me wondering: What do you like on your Subway sandwich? I find people are militantly devoted to their singular concoctions. Here's mine:

Please pardon the too-defined (and embarrassingly large) bite. I have an enormous mouth. Shut up.

I get the Veggie Delite (it's tastier if you spell it that way) on wheat with cheddar cheese, lettuce, tomatoes, onions, green peppers, cucumbers, and light mayo. Usually I go for the yellow mustard, but today was a splurge. I'm good to me.

So! I leave you to your tasks. Weigh in, and I promise I'll never, ever leave you again.

Much love to those who have seen me through the sabbatical. I've missed this forum. I may have dressed it up, but it'll be the same sarcastic idiocy it's always been. You have been warned.


at: 3:32 PM said...

1. Roast beef and cheddar on Italian herb and cheese with cheddar cheese (I love me some cheese) toasted - with lettuce, tomato, pickles, light mayo, and honey mustard. OR
Turkey on wheat with cheddar cheese, lettuce, tomato, yellow mustard, black olives, pickles, banana peppers, and vinegar.
And I must mention that Danny Gurr got Martin to try to the tuna there - it's EXCELLENT. I try not to order that though because it's one of the subs they do not tell you the nutritional info peculiar....

at: 3:36 PM said...

Oh My God. Gross. I just looked it up. A footlong tuna sub has 1060 calories and 62 grams of fat. I think I'll go puke now.

K. says:
at: 3:37 PM said...

dammit! you beat me to the reveal. i've seen people get tuna sandwiches with MAYO on them. the hoo hah?

at: 4:04 PM said...

Thank goodness you are back....I have been hungry for some Woodside related views of our complex world....carry on!

at: 5:52 PM said...

Welcome back - I grew tired of checking only to find nothing new. Whole wheat, turkey, lettuce, tomatoes, mustard, green peppers, cucumbers, onions, with peper jack cheese.

at: 6:34 PM said...

Turkey and provolone on white with a little lettuce, extra onions, mayo, and red wine vinaigrette. Toasted. But I prefer Quizno's and if I had my druthers it would be the currently defunct Mellow Mushroom's mayo-drenched bread masquerading as a sub every single day.

at: 5:58 PM said...

woot! so glad you're back. I'm that Italian BMT freak (although I skip extra meat). spicy mustard, all veggies (no onions), olive oil and vinegar--on that cheesy bread. Yep. My choice probably outweighs a quarter-pounder in calories. :)



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I am a work in progress. I perpetually need a hair cut. I'm totally devoted to my remarkable nieces and nephew. I am an elementary home cook and a magazine worker bee. (Please criticize my syntax and spelling in the comments.) I think my dog is hilarious. I like chicken and spicy things. I have difficulty being a grown-up. Left to my own devices, I will eat enormous amounts of cheese snacks of all kinds.